Acceptance is the hardest part...

In a blink of an eye the season is now half over. But it feels like just yesterday that the Meadowlands was roaring, the ground shaking as the Jets pulled off a win over hated rival New England. Gang Green fans were so happy then.

But my how things have changed.

After three straight wins, the Jets have dropped four of their last five and the mood has definitely gone from optimism to that familiar notion of dread and despair. It’s like a relationship gone bad: you look back at the good times and say “remember when we 
were happy?”

The past few weeks have been a brutal assault on the senses. I’ve gone through a plethora of emotions and have exhausted myself due to a constant struggle within.

Is this team going to make me sick in the final analysis or will I be pleasantly surprised? That, as usual with the Jets, is the million dollar question.

After the loss to Buffalo – one of the worst defeats in recent Jets history -- I fought to remain optimistic. I knew things were bad but still managed to find some solace. In my opinion, the win in Oakland was really a tease. I knew that to keep my sanity in the face of reality I had to look at the 38-0 victory as nothing more than the Jets beating up a franchise in more disarray than my favorite franchise. It was a game that reminded me what winning felt like, but also was a bit of a ruse. It gave us hope, but we all know that “hope” in Jets circles is often another way of saying false hope.

Then there was the much-ballyhooed rematch with the Dolphins last Sunday. All I wanted was for the positive momentum to continue, to taste sweet revenge against a team we should have spanked the first time around and prove to everyone that the Jets were not the same old hapless team we’ve seen far too many times to remember over the last few decades.

Well, as the Rolling Stones say, you can’t always get what you want. I stood there during the final drive of the game with my fingers and toes crossed, praying as hard as I could that I wouldn’t leave that stadium disappointed for the umpteenth time. My favorite player had just caught a ridiculous pass on fourth down to keep the drive alive and part of me thought a win might actually be in the cards.

But before I knew it I was standing there frozen staring at the empty end zone. Reality slowly crept in. Once again the Jets had snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

I couldn’t help myself. The meltdown ensued.

I’m glad the bye week is this week because I desperately needed a little break from the Jets. Entering this week all I could do was come up with countless reasons (a.k.a excuses) to convince myself that the Jets should in no way be in this predicament, sitting at .500 when they should be at worst 6-2. I literally have played every scenario out in my head and have found a way to find blame for every aspect of their play of late that has led to or directly caused a defeat.

I went from blaming Rex for going for the 2-point conversion in the third quarter of the loss to Miami, to finding fault in the fact that Carroll, Cole and Murrell weren’t on the field during Ginn’s ridiculous kickoff returns. I even, if only for a second, blamed the Jets front office for trading away special teams ace Jason Trusnik. Call it heat-of-the-moment reasoning. It took me a second to realize, of course, that I want Braylon Edwards on this team. Trusnik is just one guy. What happened to the other 10 clowns who couldn’t make a simple tackle?

I lost sleep as I analyzed the loss in my head and tried to make sense of Schottenheimer’s irrational play calling. If only we had run on that play and passed on the other one; If only Sanchez had gotten rid of the ball quicker; If only Jay had made that field goal.

Finally I came to the realization that I’m sick of it – all of it.  I’m tired of making excuses for losses that are just plain inexcusable. There is no way to truly pinpoint why this season has gone south following such a start of promise. I wish there was an obvious reason for the team’s current slide, but you can’t fix something that’s not broken. The Jets should be better. They have stars all over the field. They have a coach that should be getting results.

Forget about the players needing the bye week to get their minds right and recover from various nicks and bruises. I’m the one who needs this week to get my head right.  I guarantee you that the majority of the players aren’t beating themselves up trying to find the answer to what has gone wrong, so why should I?

Call me defeatist if you want, but I look at it more as being a realist.

The light has finally gone off after years of going through thick and thin with the Jets. There are no explanations, no easy answers. Wins and losses come in bunches and are often illogical. Statistics do not apply to this team. While nothing has changed with regards to my support and devotion to this team, the days of trying to make sense of things are over. I’ll let the little angel and devil on my shoulders duke it out on Sundays and decide whether optimism or pessimism wins. I’ll take each win and loss for what it is and always remind myself that there must be some master plan from up above for the Jets, some predetermined destiny that we just don’t know about yet.

I’ll keep the hope that someday – and who knows how far away that day is -- it will all make perfect sense.

So I’m going to enjoy what’s left of this bye week, as should all of you. Look on the bright side. The Jets can’t lose this week.

No matter how you spend the next few days, remember this: You have to savor the time off because next Sunday will be here before you know it.