5.25.2011

Oprah: The One Person I Hate More Than Even Tom Brady.

can only make fun of Tom Brady "weeee-ing" like a school girl down a water slide for so long. Thanks to the NFL lockout there isn't much else to share my strong opinions on these days, so I decided to share my "Why I Think Oprah Is A Phony Fake Bitch" story with everyone.  Enjoy!


(*patient names changed for confidentiality)
While it may be hard to believe, I don't just spend my days ranting and raving about football and the New York Jets.  If there's one thing I'm passionate about it's my career.  

I'm an Occupational Therapist specializing in Traumatic Brain Injury and Stroke.  I love my job,  I help people to move again, perform everyday functions and get their lives back.  Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you that my patients mean the world to me.  I share their goals and devote myself to see them improve.

About 6 years ago now I had the "pleasure" of treating Luther Vandross. Luther had suffered a major stroke and needed intensive therapy. We treated him for months and progress was slow and steady.  Interesting enough, the stories getting out to public and the media were that he was doing much better than he actually was.  To this day I'm not sure why.

A few months into his therapy I found out that Oprah was coming to tape a full segment on Luther's recovery.  It was going to be Luther's first interview since his stroke. You would have thought the President was coming.....but come to think of it Oprah probably sees herself as more of a VIP anyway.

The Daytime Diva had many demands, they got more ludicrous by the day.  I got my first taste of what this Oprah woman was really about when she demanded that only "good looking patients" be used in the background as they filmed her walking around the therapy gym with Luther.  

I'm sorry Oprah, but my 28 year-old patient that got hit by a drunk driver really can't help if he's missing part of his skull and isn't looking like a Gucci model at the moment, but let me find you someone who is.

Two of my patients - Jenn & Beth were asked to be apart of the taping.

Now, there are some patients who you never ever forget.  Their stories can hit a soft spot with me when I thought I lost the capability to have that happen anymore.  Jenn and Beth were prime examples of this.  

Jenn had a sudden brain hemorrhage while in Biology class at Rutgers and hadn't been home in 3 years still needing daily therapy.  She was still learning how to navigate her power wheelchair with minimal hand function. Her optimism after all she had gone through was contagious.

Beth was enjoying life as a new mom when she got in a tragic car accident.  She had spent years away from her family recovering from her brain injury.  Betsey's family couldn't afford to bring her home to their 3rd floor apartment nor make the necessary modifications to accommodate her power wheelchair.

These two young ladies taught me more than I can even begin to describe in this post.

Jenn & Beth were ecstatic when they heard about the opportunity to be a part of the Oprah segment.  They couldn't wait.  They loved Oprah, looked up to her.  It was great to see them have something to smile and get excited about.

Together they decided to write Oprah a letter.  They showed it to me and my colleagues.  Basically they told Oprah their stories and said they would be honored to meet her and shake her hand.  They asked for nothing else but the opportunity to meet her even if just for one minute. 

I immediately thought it was a great idea.  I mean everyone knew Oprah was this giving, unselfish, philanthropist right?  She loved changing people's lives for the better.  I thought that she would read these stories, meet the girls and maybe help get them home to their families.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Oprah stormed in as usual the morning of the taping.  Jenn & Beth were on their therapy mats as instructed.  They asked that we give Oprah their letters so that they wouldn't bother her.  

I'll never forget my colleague handing Oprah the letters and pointing out the girls.  My jaw dropped as Oprah said "No! I don't have any time for this shit" as she skimmed their letters.  

She tossed them away and went on about making her demands.  She never once looked in their direction or spoke one-single word to them.  She cared so much about Luther, yet never shook any of our hands for our work with him.

I stood there in shock and before I knew it the words "Wow, you are one selfish bitch" were coming out of my mouth.  She turned in my direction but just huffed off acting like the Diva she is.

Let's just say the rest of the day wasn't pleasant.  I take it personal when you mistreat one of my patients. I took no part in the taping and let it be known that the "Most Powerful Woman" on TV was a fraud.   

Jenn & Beth were upset, but also now knew that everything that Oprah says and does behind the camera are lies.  It was clear to all of us that in Oprah's eyes, no kind act was worth doing if there weren't two-million viewers watching it.  I have no problem letting the world know that in my eyes her philanthropy is nothing but bullshit.

Oprah had a tough childhood? Boo-effing-hoo.  These two girls will never live a normal life again and only asked for a handshake.  Her fat ass never worked as hard as they did to get to the point that they were at.  

Those who perform small random acts of kindness are the ones I admire and remember.  They're the ones who really make a difference in this world.  

Oprah?  She just filled the 4pm spot on ABC.

In a nutshell ........ Enjoy your retirement wench.   


5.17.2011

DeMaurice Smith: "Voice of the Players"......or not.

There’s nothing better than sitting back and watching a “fresh approach” to something go horribly wrong.

Unfortunately, this new way of doing things, otherwise known as DeMaurice Smith, is directly impacting me -- an NFL fan who thoroughly enjoys the sport 365 days a year.

In 2009, upon the sudden passing of Gene Upshaw, Smith was elected president of the NFLPA.  It was seen as a surprise by many, a solution to the union’s sudden need for a change.

So much for that change being positive.

What the NFLPA got was a Washington-based attorney, a trial lawyer who represented Fortune 500 companies, rubbed elbows with President Barack Obama, and knows his way around Capitol Hill with his eyes closed. What they didn’t get was someone who had even the slightest clue about the world of the NFL, let alone the mind of a professional football player.

It was obvious that his business experience trumped his football experience.  Unfortunately for players and fans the ramifications of his hiring are being showcased loud and clear right now.

Surprisingly enough, I’ve stayed fairly quiet regarding my opinions on the current lockout.  I’ve kept an optimistic view that the two parties shared one common goal:  to get back to playing football. But after seeing Smith’s comments Monday it’s clear to me that this poor excuse for a leader is largely responsible for the lack of football in my life.

Someone might want to warn Mr. Smith that it’s really not a wise choice to get in the way of me and my football.

Smith is out of his league.  Last I checked he’s no labor attorney.  He’s a trial lawyer with no labor law experience whatsoever. If Upshaw could walk out of his grave right now I bet he would.  Upshaw had a great relationship with NFL owners and commissioner at the time Paul Tagliabue.  Don’t think for one second that the efforts put into establishing that relationship weren’t a key reason why the last labor fight was a short, less dramatic one.

The NFLPA is now in more of a mess than their “fearless” leader even cares to realize.  It’s obvious that Smith cares more about good sound bites and extra face time on national television then actually facing the reality of the situation at hand. The man wants to make his mark in NFL history and he thinks that trudging this matter in courtroom after courtroom is the way to do it.  I don’t need law experience to know that new collective bargaining agreements don’t get done in courtrooms.

Smith needs to stop making things personal.  Enough already with the redundant, arrogant and hard-balled rhetoric that has completely undermined any efforts to reach a new deal.  Cut the asinine “This is war” comments and go back to Capitol Hill where you belong.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the players, themselves, are questioning whether this man has their best interests in mind, but it’s too late now.

So, to quote the man of the hour himself: “Congratulations,” DeMaurice. You are singlehandedly turning off many fans that were once favoring the side of the players and have ruined what was once one of the best player/owner relationships in all sports.

Unfortunately, I’m not holding my breath for a new deal anytime soon -- that is as long as I continue to see your mug behind that podium