The Green-Eyed Monster

Life must be pretty boring over in the 305, especially in terms of sports these days.  I always thought that Miami was a happening place with tons of stuff to do.  Looks like I must be wrong. 

If you didn’t already know, the best place to get up to the minute Jets news is no longer our local NY publications.   Sure they are still giving us fans tidbits of information from minicamp and all, but there’s a new “honorary” Jets beat writer in town – the ever so talented Armando Salguero .

Who ever would have thought that the Miami Herald would have more stories on the Jets than the Daily News?   

It all began two weeks ago when I was made aware of Armando’s newest column where he states that the Miami Dolphins and Jets are similarly matched despite offseason boasts.   

It took me a long time to read this poor excuse for an article because I had to keep picking myself up off the floor from laughing so hard.   It became obvious that this poor man had to have some kind of mental illness to explain these delusions of grandeur regarding the Miami Dolphins.    

Without rehashing the entire article, it is pretty clear that this so-called “journalist” with vast experience is a complete moron.  I would love for Mr. Salguero to tell me how many 1,000 yard rushers Lousaka Polite has blocked for that would make him “Tony Richardson’s equal”.  

His comparisons of the teams were so unprofessionally biased you would think some bandwagon uneducated fan wrote them.  On second thought,  is there actually such a thing as a die-hard educated Miami fan?

Just when the tears from hysterical laughter began to dry from reading Armando’s first article, a second one pops up.  Right smack in the middle of Dolphins minicamp no less.  Was it about Brandon Marshall’s hip?  Or about the team’s need for a second wide receiver?   Why of course not!  Good ol Armando out does himself and decides to let everyone know that the Miami Dolphins are not concerned with the Jets offseason moves.  (funny you could have fooled me)

There could be only one explanation as to why a beat writer for an opposing team would spend so much time and energy on the Jets.   Some people are calling it jealousy – but I think “envy” describes it much more accurately.

Aristotle himself defines envy as “the pain caused by the good fortune of others”.   Put yourself in Armando’s shoes for a second.  It must be so hard to sit and write about a team as boring as the Dolphins.  I mean how many times can you write about players being arrested without being bored to tears?  

It reminds me of high school.  The people you talk the most shit about are the ones you are envious of.   Armando’s biggest contradiction to his article’s last title was obvious just by the fact that he published such a piece of crap.   If the Dolphins weren’t concerned with the Jets moves, they wouldn’t be talking about it….over and over and over again.

Newsflash Armando:  The world doesn’t revolve around the Miami Dolphins. 

Take your skirt off and stop making everything about you and your team.  Yes the Jets are confident, strive to have a winning team, and have goals to make it to Dallas this year.   Have they ever once uttered the word “Miami”?   They couldn’t care less about what the Dolphins are doing, and their actions prove that.

I respect fans and journalists who are able to talk about their team's weaknesses in addition to their strengths. It's obvious that Armando is incapable of such things.   As a fan I will admit to clear advantages that other teams may have on the Jets, except of course when it's written by someone who obviously knows less about my team than my dog does.

Through the power of Twitter I've let Armando know my thoughts on his recent columns.   Of course now I'm dealing with classy Miami fans questioning my football knowledge. I wouldn't expect anything different from such an astute fan base, and being referred to as a "cheerleader" is quite hilarious.

It looks like Jets Nation will all know Armando's name after his latest comment regarding Rex's recent weight loss. Yesterday he was on sports radio and challenged Jets fans to call in and defend their team on air.  He even tweeted that should I call in, saying he'd "be happy to correct the errors of my ways".  As if I'd waste my time on a gorgeous day off to speak to Mando-Man.  I'd find it much more stimulating discussing football with a brick wall.

Like a small gnat that doesn't go away, he also posted the following yesterday.  Providing his Miami readers with a link to the TheJetsBlog and asking them enlighten us with their knowledge (can you smell my sarcasm?)

"But Jets fans are starting to bug me. I always wondered why Dolphins fans and Jets fans always seemed to get into fights at games. I think I get it now. Some of those folks are annoying.
Some of that annoying point of view can be found right here on a Jets blog. I encourage you to go to that blog and give those folks your view how the Dolphins match up with their team, how Tony Sparano matches up with Rex Ryan, how this blog matches up with that one."

If anything else, I thank Armando from the bottom of my heart for providing Jets fans with some entertainment during this quiet time in the off season.

I feel bad knowing that Armando lies in bed every night looking at the posters on his wall of Jane McManus, Rich Cimini and Manish Mehta,  wishing more than anything he could become them one day and cover the New York Jets.  

Miami fans even dislike him and all prefer writer Jason Cole over him any day.  I'd be upset too if I found out one of our beat writers was 
caught high-fiving a colleague after our team lost and were out of the playoffs!

My advice to Jets fans:  Enjoy it.  It's not often that our team is so feared by our rivals that we can hear their knees shaking miles and miles away.  I really am looking forward to hearing what Armando's next column regarding the Jets will be about.  I hear he's going to break down our draft picks next,  and possibly cover training camp in Cortland as well.  I mean why not right?

Face it Armando, the Jets aren't going anywhere and they sure as hell aren't going to turn into quiet scared jealous little school girls like a certain team who wears teal & orange.  When you decided to write about the Jets (multiple times) you should have been prepared to look like the fool that you are.

I've decided to be the bigger person and think I'll send Mr. Salguero a little gift to show my appreciation for his cluelessness - I'll even sign it for free  ;)